Today was Henry’s surgery. I’m not there. Can you make the leap?

Daddy and Henry left for the hospital at about 7:30 this morning. His surgery was to remove his tonsils and see if his ear tubes needed replacing. We’ve been putting this surgery off for over 2 years now, but seeing as he’s five, going on six and that the size of his tonsils is probably part of what’s preventing his transition to more table-like food, we decided it was time. Now, before the baby comes. The doctor told us all about the surgery and the probable difficult recovery. He’ll stay overnight and come home with a stint so that a home-care nurse can come in and hook up an IV over the next several days to ensure he doesn’t dehydrate. We have been as prepared as, I suppose, you can be before you go into something you’ve never done before.

Steve called at 11:30 to say that the surgery was done and the doctor reported that all went well. The tonsils were, as suspected, HUGE. On a scale of 1-4, with 4 being monstrous, his were a 4. Henry was in recovery and Steve couldn’t see him yet, but he had come through nicely. Some time later, Steve called back to say they were in their room now and Henry was alternating between groggy and crying with pain. Which triggered the first episode of GUILT for Mommy. My baby’s in pain and I’M NOT THERE. I know in my head that it’s okay – Daddy can handle it and it’s probably even really, really good for the 2 of them to go through this together – but it feels so wrong in my gut. It goes against everything I am as a mom.

I called Steve later to check in and he said he couldn’t really talk then because there were people in the room and he didn’t want to talk in front of them. So I told him to call me back when he could talk. He called about 20 minutes ago and explained the whole thing. Apparently, they’re in a room that’s smaller than my daughter’s bedroom and there are 2 children in there. The other child’s family is, apparently, ALL THERE FOR THIS EVENT. Steve said that the mother only speaks Arabic and Spanish and the father speaks Arabic, German and 2 other languages I couldn’t make out. They’ve got everyone in the world with them, even though the rules say only 2 people can be in the room and that there’s a big family waiting room just down the hall. In order to help manage Henry’s pain, they’re endeavoring to keep him asleep as much as possible while giving him the pain meds as well. However, all efforts are in vain when 800 people come in the room and are all talking. The first time they all woke Henry up, he cried inconsolably. The nurse came in and reminded them of the rules. The next time they woke Henry up, Steve confronted the dad, asking them to please follow the rules because Henry needed to sleep and they kept waking him up. The father’s response?? “I don’t have to do what you say. Call security on me.”

EXCUSE ME?? You *%**$(* JERK??? How DARE you. HOW DARE YOU. Thankfully, my husband is better at this stuff than I and his response was to march out to the nurses’ station and ask them to call security. Cuz Daddy don’t play dat. EVER. I guess it got handled, cuz when he called, the only noise was this other child singing REALLY LOUDLY from his bed, something that sounded eerily like “JIHAD!!! JIHAD!!” Not chanting – actually singing it. And I heard it, so it was not just Steve. While we were on the phone, this child woke Henry up, again, but this time Henry wasn’t crying. So, hopefully, they’ve found a good pain management option for now. He’s got both arms in splints – the one with the IV is from the elbow down and the other leaves the hand free so he can put his nuk in. He’s also got the pulse oxygen monitor on that free hand, so he’s reportedly spending time watching the red light and talking to the imaginery friend who lives in that hand. He’s just looking at Daddy through the bars of the crib/bed. They should be released in the morning and I’m hungry to hold him again. To kiss away his tears and snuggle away his pain. I pray, I PRAY, that he recovers quickly and the pain subsides because I can’t stand my babies in pain.

Maggie’s at a sleepover at a friend’s house and tomorrow gets to go to Six Flags with them. She’s thrilled and I’m thrilled that I don’t have to worry about her till late tomorrow. Steven and I are having great Mommy/Steven time – we had dinner at Red Robin & then bought some Bionicles at Toys R Us and got ice cream at Oberweis. He’s dedicated himself to watching over me and making sure I’m okay tonight. Tomorrow morning is another NST and then I’m taking him to see Ice Age 3 in the afternoon. I’m already close to comatose right now, so I should be the walking dead tomorrow.

Speaking of which, I am reading the most hysterical book right now. “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”.

This book is so, so funny. I’ve been reading it mostly during Steven’s swim lessons and I keep freaking people out by bursting out laughing while reading. Much of it is straight out of Jane Austen, and then they throw in the zombie stuff when you least expect it. It’s so incongruous that all you can do is laugh. This morning, I let out big, barking laughs at least three times. For example, I was reading the part where Lizzie visits Mr. Collins and Charlotte at Rosings Park. These two bits brought forth my laughter:
Speaking of Charlotte:

“It had been months since Elizabeth had seen Charlotte, and kind months they had not been, for her friend’s skin was now quite gray and marked with sores, and her speech appallingly laboured. That none of the others noticed this, Elizabeth attributed to their stupidity – particularly Mr. Collins, who apparently had no idea that his wife was three-quarters dead.”
also
“At length, there was nothing more to be said; Lady Catherine and her daughter drove on, and the others returned into the house. Mr. Collins no sooner saw the 2 girls then he began to congratulate them on their good fortune, for he informed them that the whole party was asked to dine at Rosings the next day. Apparently overcome with excitement, Charlotte dropped to the ground & began stuffing handfuls of crisp autumn leaves in her mouth.“

Maybe I’m just weird, but that kind of thing is hysterical to me. You’re just going along, caught up in the time and setting of the story and then this curve ball is thrown that just lays you flat. Love it. And picturing Elizabeth beheading the “sorry stricken”or “unmentionables” with her training in the Chinese deadly arts is just so, so funny.

Happy Thursday, y’all. Hopefully, I’ll update on Henry tomorrow.

What a shocker, eh. Here I am at 35 weeks and the doctor today measured me at 37 weeks as her eyes grew wide and she shook her head. Not in a disparaging, “bad girl” way, but in an “oh my goodness, girl, this baby’s gonna be BIG” sort of way. Which, of course, is alarming to me. But, really, what isn’t alarming to me?

Steven started swim lessons on Monday and, as is par for the course, the temperature here dropped from in the 90s to 65 degrees. So we’ve got a pool full of little ones shivering their goggles off, trying to stick their faces in the water and make “glide arms”. Of course, since they’re kids, they’re fine until it’s time to get out of the water. I feel bad for them. It has to be so awful to crawl out of that pool into such cold air and wind. I know it must have been that way when I was a kid, too, but I must have blocked it out.

I got a nice little widget for my Vista sidebar that has a to-do list, notepad and calculator so that I could get my list of stuff that’s plaguing me to get done written down where I won’t lose it. Because if it isn’t written down, I just continually go over it in my head, trying not to forget anything and inevitably failing. So, here’s my list:

1. Clean out bathroom closet of all the crud littering it so I have a place to put the baby tub. Then put the baby tub there.

2. Pack hospital bag. That one is really plaguing me because I’m sure it won’t be ready when I go into labor. And, of course, my labor will only last 10 minutes, so I wouldn’t have time to get my list of stuff into a bag before the baby crowns. </sarcasm>

3. Pack baby’s diaper bag

4. Assemble stroller and car seat. Again – the stroller isn’t urgent, but that car seat’s gotta be ready to go. Though I’m sure my husband could figure it out and get it installed while I’m recovering in said hospital.

5. Clean all the crap out of the bedroom. This one is also driving me nuts. See, the problem is that I’m having so much trouble bending down/over, that picking anything up off the floor is a struggle. I can usually only get about 5-10 items before my back gives out at the B/H contractions kick in. So all the books (kids’), empty boxes (mine), dirty laundry (everybody’s), toys (kids’), and stuff that doesn’t have a home just sits there, mocking me and stealthily multiplying as I get more and more anxious. It’s gotta get done, though, cuz I cannot bring a baby home into that disarray. Plus, the room needs vacuuming.

6. Put together van kit. This is not as essential, but I can cross this one off the list today. I had a big, blue, Rubbermaid tote in the back of the van that was the original “Van Emergency Kit”, but now that we are going to have a double stroller to fit in there, I needed to consolidate. Plus, I just didn’t need all the room the big, blue, Rubbermaid tote provided. So, I got a smaller, clear tote and packed it full of baby wipes, hand sanitizer, tissues, sunscreen, bug spray, band-aids, Neosporin, anti-itch cream, change of clothes for Henry, change of socks for Steven, Tylenol, diapers for Henry and William, baby food, cleaning wipes and Febreeze. And it all fit! Next stop is to clean the trash out of the van and vacuum it. Ew.

For now, it’s off to Henry’s OT appointment. Tomorrow is his tonsillectomy so if you’re someone who prays, please pray that it will go well and easily. That there won’t be any complications. That his recovery will be swift and without too much trouble for him. And that his Daddy will handle the surgery and overnight stay with all the aplomb I know he has.

Thanks to the fun and the 21st century version of “calling” on others and leaving your “card”, Entrecard, I’ve been really excited to stumble upon some great blogs, neat people and get to know them a bit. And a couple of these wonderful fellow bloggers have bestowed some awards upon me – I am so honored!!

I got both of these awards from 2 sources. Stace at All Stace, All the Time and Crystal at Simply Being Mommy! As always, here are the rules…

You have to pass them on to 15 other blogs that you think are wonderful!
The rules for these awards are:

1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link.

2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

These are the blogs that I am loving this week:

1. Nicole at All 4 My Gals

2. Carrie at Approach the Throne

3. Jen at Cheaper Than Therapy

4. Rachel at Following in my Shoes

5. JD  at I Do Things…

6. Jenn at Jiggety Jigg

7. Mauzy’s Musings

8. Vicki at Not So SAHM

9. Amanda at Shamelessly Sassy

10. Angie at This is My Real Blog

11. Lin at Duck and Wheel with String

12. Shelly at MFTAWK

13. Jenn at My Kids are My World

14. Jo at Life’s Perfect Pictures

15. Jamie at Kids…Me & RAWIII

So, um, remember the “there’s an acrylic nail in my salad” story from last time? Turns out we were WRONG. Yesterday, Steve’s temporary crown fell out and, as we looked at it, it dawned on us that it looked remarkably like what he pulled out of his mouth at Chili’s. And that there was even a small piece missing from the side that seemed about the same size. So, it looks like we caused the restaurant manager stress and embarrassment for NO REASON. After examining the crown, I said that we needed to go back and return the coupons they gave us and pay for the salad they comped. Thank goodness we were decent human beings and didn’t cause any kind of scene, because I don’t think I could stand knowing that. I swear to y’all, though, it looked JUST LIKE a nasty, dirty nail tip. I don’t know what he bit into that caused a piece of crown to break off – or how he didn’t feel the difference – but there ya go. A small lesson in not throwing a fit when you think you’ve been wronged, because you never know when you’ll go home and realize the culprit was YOU.

Yesterday was a trial in patience for me. I have my weekly NSTs now where I go in every week and they hook me up to the fetal monitors to check out baby’s heartrate and whether I’m having any contractions to see how baby responds to them. I had my 3rd one yesterday and everything seemed to be hunky dory. At the end, they came in and said that there were some decels in the heart rate that they didn’t like, so they wanted to do an ultrasound to check fluid levels and make sure all is well. I started the NST at about 7:50am. It ended at approximately 8:30am. Wanna guess how long I waited in that L&D room before they got me for my u/s? The wheelchair arrived to take me down to the u/s room at ELEVEN FORTY-FIVE. That’s right, race fans, I laid in that room for over 3 hours doing nothing and imagining my husband getting more and more pissed at having to change/cancel/rearrange his schedule for the day. (Note the word “imagining”. Because that’s all it was. Me projecting a feeling onto him that he didn’t actually have.) Thankfully, I had a book with me – one that I started at 7:50 when the test began. Because by the time they brought me into the ultrasound room? I had FINISHED it.

368 pages finished in, basically, 4 hours. Of nonstop reading. Oh, and yes, I’m reading the Nora Roberts’ Three Sisters trilogy right now. And I’m almost done with book #3. Gotta love series reading.

And I’ll leave you with this. Because driving past this thing in my town inevitably makes me laugh every time.

Have you seen these things before? They’re so….odd and slightly phallic and just weird. But every time I see one, I remember this sketch from Mad TV. They were parodying TLC’s series “A Wedding Story” and it always makes me laugh so hard because it’s just…so……weird.

Well, I’m continuing to make slow progress on things and not tire myself out too much. In the “prep for baby” category, I got the Pack N Play w/Bassinet & Changer put together on Monday and the Newborn Soothing Center put together today.  It’s amazing to me how much the baby gear has advanced since Henry was a baby. I’m loving the Pack N Play with much loving. We lived in a ranch house before, so I didn’t reallly have a need for anything like that. Now, I need to have something on the 1st floor for changing diapers, sleeping, etc. And this thing is wicked cool. Got the bassinet in it so baby feels safe and that has both a vibration setting and music/nature sounds/womb noises. Then there’s the changing table portion that folds away and holds wet wipes, diapers and everything. It’s so incredibly convenient and super cute. The Newborn Soothing Center is really cool, too. After I got it put together, Steve started laughing that it looked like a baby carnival ride..which, by the way, it DOES. Plus, you have the ability to plug in your iPod to play music on it. So crank up the Foghat or the Blue Öyster Cult, press #6 & start shouting “faster……..faaaaassster…..”  Then, by age 5,  your little one is ready for any county fair or carnival in the land.

I also set up this shark-themed SlipNSlide for Steven on Tuesday. Y’know what’s an amusing, yet unattractive, picture? A hugely pregnant woman, sitting in the middle of her yard in 98° heat, attempting to blow up the acoutrements on said SlipNSlide. Huge, fat woman who can’t barely bend over enough to get her mouth on the blow-up valve. Sweating. Gah.

Oh, I have to tell you THIS story. Tonight we treated ourselves to dinner at Chili’s because we have some gift cards that I wanted to start using. Plus, we love it there and it’s one of the few restaurants where the kids actually behave. Don’t ask me why. Anyway, we order our food and I’m, of course, all excited because I’m getting this delicious-sounding salmon & sirloin platter with loaded mashed potatoes. We get our food and we’re enjoying it. We’re about halfway finished when Steve quietly goes, “Oh my GOD…” and pulls something out of his mouth. He just got a temporary crown put on this morning and apparently he bit into something so hard he thought he had cracked the crown. He pulls this thing out and holds it out to me, asking me what it is. Y’all??? It was a French-manicured acrylic nail tip. We couldn’t tell for sure at first, but when he said “French manicure”, I tapped it with my knife and, sure enough, it was hard, just like an acrylic nail. We had to call the manager over, who was crazy apologetic, and I kept almost bursting out laughing because it was SO INCREDIBLY GROSS that I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that it happened. Steve was so completely disgusted, he couldn’t even think about eating. I mean, glurg. Someone’s gnarly, old, poorly cared for FINGERNAIL that’s hard as…..well…..acrylic caught in your teeth. Ew. Times about 10,000.

We got Henry’s surgery scheduled for next Wednesday, 7/1. Praise the Lord, Steve said he’d do the duty on this one. So I don’t have to figure out how to get my huge belly to sleep in a hospital room chair. I’m just praying that it will go better than expected and it won’t take him so long to heal and feel better. If you’re a praying person, we’d love your prayers as well. I really want him nearly recovered (at least) before the baby comes and I’m down to about 4 weeks left. Life just doesn’t let up much, does it? Tomorrow morning, NST at 7:30 am, so I’m getting ready to sleep now. Yee-haw.

What a weekend already. Filled with busy, of course, just like everyone else’s, I’m sure. Friday, we got hit with some vicious and horrifying storms. My parents were over for dinner and we watched as one of the most intense storms I’ve ever seen passed through. It honestly looked like what you see when the Weather Channel reports from a hurricane. The rain was coming down sideways, the trees were whipping around like nothing I’ve ever seen and the road in front of our house became a curb to curb river. Literally. There was even white-water and the water went up almost 1/2 up cars’ tires, creating an actual wake. Our house is situated higher up than other houses around us, but I went downstairs this morning to discover the laundry room, basement bathroom and storage room had flooding. I don’t think it was too bad, but the carpeting in the hall outside all 3 rooms was pretty soaked and squishy. So now I’m behind on the regular laundry (again!) because I have to wash all the throw rugs that are downstairs. And the towels I used to sop. I won’t complain, though, because I’m betting we got hit on a far lesser scale than houses around us.

Anyway, in the middle of our dinner, the power went out. It was about 6:30, so it was still pretty light out, but it got majorly humid and swampy in the house pretty quickly. We played with bubbles for a while and then went up to the bedroom to read by the light of our Coleman lanterns and candles. For about 3 hours. Then I was crazy uncomfortalbe from the heat and we gave up on the power getting back on before bedtime. I put Henry to bed and let Steven sleep with me. And, of course, as soon as we began to drift off (amid the really annoying chorus of frogs outside & the occasional person outside shouting), the power came back on. Every light came on, so Steven and I wandered through the house, turning everything off. And, praise the Lord, the fans became usable again.

As far as getting stuff done, I’ve started getting ready for William’s arrival. I got the co-sleeper set up and bought a cheap baby supply cart to keep in my bedroom with clothes, diapers, blankets, crib sheets, etc. I got all the 0-3 months clothes washed, folded and put away. Had to move some of the furniture around a little, too. Here’s what it looks like!

It’s an Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper Mini in Toffee & Cream. The crib sheet was custom made by CradleandAll on etsy.com. She made me 4 sheets that fit the Mini perfectly! The elephant blanket is from Target. The bear is the Mommy Melodies bear from Target that plays womb sounds, lullabies or nature sounds. And the mobile is the Kidsline Mod Elephant Mobile. I don’t know if I’m going to keep it there or not, but it’s good for now.

On top is a little portable diaper change basket that I can take downstairs with me. Shirts/pants outifts & rompers on the left shelf, gowns on the right shelf, blankets on the bottom left and sheets on the bottom right. Diapers in the pack on the right side. Socks, booties & wipes on the very top with the Safety 1st grooming & health care kit. It’ll be so nice to have everything right here, rather than having to go into the boys’ room or send the kids on errands for me. I hope William likes it!

Next on the list is putting together the PackNPlay for use on the 1st floor. Then the car seat and double stroller. And the soother/swing. It’s getting close!

Time to get the kids in bed. Happy Father’s Day to one and all!

Have you ever read Stephen King’s short story, “The Long Walk“? It was part of his 1985 Richard Bachman-pseudonymed collection called “The Bachman Books”. If you haven’t read it, I recommend it – great story. Basic plot is that it’s an annual contest held in an alternate-universe USA. A pool of 100 teenage boys picked at random compete in this walk that starts at the Maine/Canada border and continues until the last contestant is standing. If you drop below 4 mph for more than a specified period of time or if you break any of the rules, basically you get shot. And it just keeps going until there’s only one walker left alive.

Okay – all that to say that I feel like I’m in this story right now. I’m just going and going and going and going and I can feel my body giving out, my legs feeling like sawdust and my mind beginning to crack and I’m afraid that if I stop, my legs will just buckle, I’ll fall to the side of the road and take a bullet to my brain. I know I’m heading into the final stretch of this pregnancy and it’s par for the course, but I’ve never had this much trouble before. I’m trying to rest, trying to not do too much, get extra sleep, but nothing is making it better. I took Steven to the library yesterday and just the basic walking around the building to find the books he wanted was more than I could handle. I joked weeks and weeks ago that I was going to have to spend the month of July in bed?? It doesn’t seem so funny now.

I’m now on weekly OB visits as well as the weekly NSTs. This week, my OB measured me and just said, “I think this baby’s gonna be big.” Great. Great. She asked how big my others were and when I answered 8#12 and 8#7 (Henry was an anomoly), she said, “Yeah. This one’s gonna be over 9#, I think.” Goody. “And,” she said, “I think you’re going to go early, like 37 weeks. Maybe 38. We’ll see.” Holy mackeral. If she’s right, I’m down to 4-5 weeks. Yeek. I feel like I’m not ready, though I am. I’ve got some little things that need to be done – like setting up the co-sleeper, washing the baby clothes/sheets/blankets, packing my hospital bag and the baby’s bag and putting together the stroller and car seat and swing. I’ve got time. Gotta keep telling myself that. I can do a little bit each day, but I have to stop myself from going all crazy getting the house perfect and doing all the nesting that’s niggling at the back of my brain. It’s coming quickly – I just hope his little lungs are developing quickly as well.

I’ve also been reading a lot because I want to lie down a lot, but I’m not quite sleepy (or I’m not allowed to sleep). I came across this book at Target and picked it up because I’m a sucker for weddings.

I’m probably one of the only women in the world who hadn’t read a book by Nora Roberts. Seriously, this woman is one of the most prolific writers I’ve ever seen. She’s got way over 165 books – which just blows my mind. Anyway, this was a great book to start with. I really enjoyed this one and I’m looking forward to the next one in the series. I adore her writing style. It actually had moments that reminded me of one of my favorite bloggers, Cleolinda. There were some turns-of-phrase that were her style and made me laugh out loud. For example, 2 of the characters are talking and one tells the other, who’s known for her rather brusque, no-nonsense attitude, to go to the bar to get them drinks rather than her. Character #1 knows Character #2 won’t be bothered by guys during the trek because she has an “Invisibility Cloak of Back Off”. I loved that. Then I read these 2 by Nora:

I liked them both a lot. The more I read, the more I’m seeing her romance formula that has allowed her to write so many books, but it doesn’t really diminish the enjoyment for me, at least. So now I decided to go through her 4 SHELVES at our library and see what I like. I’ve read one book in another trilogy called “The Seven” which is completely different. Much more Steven King than romance. It reminds me a lot of Stephen King’s “It”, which scares the wits out of me. Stuff about magick and demons always gets to me, but I still get sucked in. I’m just so impressed with her ability to not only write so MUCH, but to write it quite well. In different genres.

Today we took Henry to the ENT and decided we’re going to get this tonsillectomy/adenoid check/ear tube check ASAP. Maybe even next week. The way they do it is to keep him overnight and then send him home with an IV hooked up. Then they send a home health care nurse to check on us for the next 4 days and we have to keep the IV in to make sure he stays hydrated. That part? Came thisclose to causing me to laugh directly in the doctor’s face. I can’t think of anything less likely to happen then to get Henry to keep an IV in for FOUR DAYS. Not only ridiculous, but impossible. I suppose we’ll do the best we can, but I’m not betting on it. He’s also got an ear infection (which I knew) and so much gunk in both ears that the doctor couldn’t see all the way in. He makes a lot of wax in general, so with the infection on top of it (which is only in one ear, thank goodness), it’s probably like a beaver dam in there. I hope we can take care of all this within the next week or 2, so I can stop worrying about it all. And, maybe, hopefully, removing his HUGE tonsils will make it easier for him to eat. I hope.

Okay – that’s it for today. I have to do laundry now because, apparently, Maggie had dirty underwear hiding around her room and has to have it washed RIGHT NOW. I hate laundry.

I’m sorry. I have been so tired lately, by the time I get to my usual blogging time, I’m too tired to do it. Plus, I’ve been distracted by creating fonts and playing Sims3. Oh, and trying not to kill myself doing the laundry.

Cuz, see, as I was going down the basement stairs earlier in the week, I slipped on a Lego magazine that Steven left amidst the Bionicle pieces, light sabers, Lego pieces and other crap that had accumulated there. That magazine threw my right foot out, flipping my left foot/leg underneath me and skinning the inside of my left knee on the stair carpeting and landing SMACK on my already-painful pelvis. My mom’s sure that if I keep this up, the baby will just fall out. Thankfully, it doesn’t work that way. It’s not a slide, mom.  Anyway, that fall wrenched my stupid pelvis even more, so I’m now in almost constant pain – as if someone keeps kicking me in my pubic bone with a steel-toed boot. The worst part is sitting. Being in a sitting position for any prolonged period of time (like, say, 15 minutes), does something to that area so, when I try to stand up, I can barely put weight on my legs and I can’t walk. I’m trying to spend more time lying down, since that seems to help. Doctor just says to take Tylenol, but I don’t want to spend the last 2 months of my pregnancy popping Tylenol every 30 minutes.

Another week of doctor visits. Saw a different doctor in the practice on Monday, which went just fine. Tuesday was a first appointment with Henry’s new OT. We’re going to start seeing her twice a week, which will be awesome for him. Wednesday was another ultrasound. Baby looks great – about 4# 9oz. now, growing great and everything looks fine. Plus, the tech said he has a full head of hair! How cool! You can see it in this picture – Will’s got his back to the camera and his left hand is up to his head/ear and he was actually playing with his hair! It’s getting closer, y’all!!

Thursday morning was the 1st in my now-weekly non-stress tests. I haven’t done these before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Just hooking me up to the fetal monitors and watching Will’s response to everything. I’m going to be doing those every week now, so hopefully all will stay well. I can’t believe how big he is already and that I have about 7 weeks to go. The doctor says he’s right in the middle of the growth/size chart, but 4# 9 ounces seems huge already!!

On Monday, Henry starts his NISRA camp, so that should be awesome. Then 2 days of OT in a row and his ENT appointment on Thursday. He’s been having a lot of drainage out of his right ear, so I’d like to get that stopped. Plus scheduling his tonsillectomy. Y’know, I just wish I had more to do. </sarcasm>

Oh – wanted to share the new things in the store at NDISB, too! I’m trying my hand at font creation and put up my first creations this week. I’m offering the fonts in both personal & commercial use, so if you might want them for a CU project, they’re only $4.50! And only $1.50 for personal use.

Plus, 2 new mini-kits.

I have been stupid busy and crazy tired. I’m sorry I haven’t been here or updated. Cuz I’m a dork like that.

Let’s see….I have a cold sore. Maggie was sick. Henry’s still not done with school. Steven’s Asperger’s is flying brilliantly and driving me nuts. I’m watching the Tonys right now and Elton John is reminding me of Eddie Izzard right now. Plus, he’s SHORT. And I’m confused by the musicals up now. Billy Elliot? Rock of Ages? Very confused. Mostly because the Billy Elliot scene they’re doing reminds me a lot of Pink Floyd’s The Wall. With dancing. LEGALLY? BLONDE? It was a mediocre movie – who decided it should be musicalized? I disagree with that decision.

Friday, Henry didn’t have school, so his teacher’s set up a picnic/playdate at the local park. They’d done it before, but this was the first time we went. It was nice to be outside, having a chance to talk with the teachers. Someday Henry will learn how to play at a playground. For him, it’s about digging in the sand and throwing it over and over and over and over. Which kind of discourages other kids from playing WITH him. Here are the pics I took:

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

We also finally got our copy of The Sims 3 on Friday. So Maggie & I have been pretty obsessed with learning it. I have to say – so far, it’s only okay. Part of what I love about the Sims so much is the custom content. Usually what comes with the game is only so-so. But there’s this community of artists who create some of the most amazing skins, hair, eyes, objects -t he whole 9 yards. And it’s way, way better than what’s in the game. So, I’m looking forward to their work in a big, big way.

Oh, man. Back to the Tonys. They’re doing a number from the revival of Hair. I LOOOOOOOVED this show. Never did it, but I still have the songs memorized and I still dig rockin’ out to it. Yeah….I wanted to be a hippie. What’s your point? This dude behind the guy who’s speaking for Hair’s win is WAY. TOO. MOVED. by its win.

On Saturday, we decided that we totally had to take a trip out to see the annual celebration of dairy that is Milk Days. For one reason and one reason only. I mean, it’s Milk Days, people. It’s like Mecca for Henry. Even though it was pretty sketchy, weather-wise, I couldn’t let it pass without letting Henry visit the cows. Surprisingly, he wasn’t as taken with the cows as he was the petting zoo. He spent about 15 minutes in there, just chasing the chickens and ducks around in circles. He was SO EXCITED, he actually started frothing at the mouth. The poor ducks & chickens just kept running away in circles – unfortunately, not smart enough to actually GET AWAY. Unlike the little piglets who saw Henry coming and immediately ran into their little carrier where he couldn’t get them. Here are these pictures:

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.
After we saw the animals, we allowed Steven & Maggie to choose 2 rides to go on. They first chose the Egyptian boat ride. Steven was wicked excited until about 30 seconds into the ride. Check out his face:

He was TERRIFIED. Just started screaming and begging to be let off. that, my friends, is the worst feeling EVER as a mother. Your child is terrified, practically peeing themselves in fear, and you can only stand there doing NOTHING. We tried to call out and tell him he’d be okay, but he didn’t believe it for one second. Later, he said he was sure that the “gravity force was going to pull him out of his seat”. Man. I felt so guilty that I let him go on it in the first place. But, after he calmed, he said, “Well….now I know better”. Sheesh, he’s smart.

I think that’s all I got. Have a great Monday, everybody!

Seriously – how did it come to be June already?? I’m freaking OUT.

Maggie & Steven are done with school and Henry has one more week. I’m already exhausted. I took M&S to see Up! on Monday mornings 1st showing and that was quite fun. What a GOOD movie. I cried like a little girl and laughed quite hard (especially at the dogs). I’m so amazed at how they can create such emotion and humanity out of an animated movie. Blows my mind.

I realized today that I only have 8 weeks left of this pregnancy. AUUUUUGGGGH!!!! We’ve entered into the OMGSOMANYAPPOINTMENTS portion of the pregnancy and my calendar is filling up really, really quickly. Next week, I have an appt. with another doctor in the practice on Monday, another ultrasound on Wednesday and my first non-stress test on Thursday. Then the following week, maternity pictures on Monday, appt with my doctor on Tuesday and another NST on Thursday morning and appt with Henry’s ENT Thursday afternoon. I’m hoping to get his tonsillectomy finally done with before the baby comes. I am SO INCREDIBLY running out of time to get things done.

I have found a solution to my massive pelvic pain, though. Instead of sitting, I’m lying down. I am SO. INCREDIBLY. BRILLIANT. I cannot believe that it took me this long to realize that if it totally hurts to sit in a chair for a while & then try to stand, DON’T SIT IN A CHAIR. :shaking head: Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t accidentally cut my own head off or set myself on fire at this point.

Talking to the OB about the pelvic pain thing today, though, we got a grisly story of one of her patients who had pelvic diastasis which freaked both me & Maggie out. But she wanted me to be aware that this was a possibility, so I need to keep an eye on my pain and be aware so I can get checked out if it gets worse. Which wasn’t alarming AT ALL. I think after today’s appointment, Maggie will never have children.

All righty. It’s early still and I have the energy to do it so, here goes. In the order mentioned in the previous entry.

I don’t know why I bother having online discussions/debates with people. It is literally the most frustrating thing in the world. You try to argue logically and with facts and people come back with an argument that’s basically, “But I don’t waaaaant it that way.” Well, friend, I’m sorry you don’t want it that way, but due to the way things are and the, I don’t know, LAW, you can’t just mold things into something different. Usually in these cases I don’t really try to argue the issue, because how I feel about the issue is completely irrelevant. What I usually want to argue is something about semantics or something about a point of  logic. But no one hears what I actually say, they only hear what they want to hear – which is usually the assumption that I disagree with them, so they need to shut me up.

In that same vein, where did we as a society get the idea that everything we wish to do is a “right”? I mean, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights are right there for anyone to read and our rights are quite clearly spelled out there. But instead of actually looking it up, people just spout off about their “rights”. Like they haved a “right” to drive or a “right” to a job or a “right” to get married or a “right” to an education. None of those things are rights. They are opportunities available to us if we meet certain criteria – like passing a test or qualifying for the job or getting grades good enough to get into an institute of higher learning. But people just spout off about their rights to do all sorts of ridiculous things that are, at best, opportunities or, at worst, not even a good idea. But, when you try to point this out – or, God forbid, tell a group that both sides of the issue has a right (yes, this is a right) to their opinion, even if (gasp!) they disagree with you, they freak out that this is not the case. Each side claims moral superiority over the other, calling names and hurling insults. Drives me nuts. But not as much as people putting words in my mouth. If I take the time and effort to add my thoughts to a thread, I word things very carefully. Because WORDS MEAN THINGS.  I don’t just pull idea out of the air – I take care to choose my words to get the meaning across and I try not to stick to a side unless I can back it up. But even after carefully crafting my thoughts, someone will respond with something that either has nothing to do with what I said or makes a completely incorrect assumption based on one word taken out of context. If you cannot be bothered to read my post or you don’t understand what I’ve said, don’t respond. Or ask. But don’t jump all down my throat based on something I never said. And certainly do not assume my position on an issue when I haven’t claimed position. Especially don’t when I’ve said, several times, that I haven’t declared a position and have no intention of doing so because it’s immaterial to what I’M talking about. I always end up just having to throw my hands up in frustration and stop participating because it’s like repeatedly sticking a pin in your eye.

Okay. Topic one finished. I’m going to merge 3 topics into one here, so stay with me. Yesterday was rough. I knew I had to figure something out for teacher gifts, but I didn’t think I had time to make what I wanted to make. I decided to skip my nap and give it a whirl, though. I saw these cool stationery sets on TheDailyDigi.com and thought that might be something I could make. So I ran to Hobby Lobby and picked up some stationery that was pretty and decided I’d scan the patterns and make the box & all to match. Got home and it took about 1.5 hours to make the 1st one. The 2nd one went more quickly because I knew what mistakes to avoid. Got them made and decorated them. The only frustrating part was that the glue dots I used just weren’t doing the job. Stuff was falling off & apart and I was getting peeved. So I grabbed the Tacky Glue and tried again. That worked…I think. Hopefully they’ll stay together more than a couple days. Here’s how they turned out. 1st picture is the box closed with the lid on. 2nd picture is with the lid off and the box opened.

Aren’t they cute? They’re small, so they’re perfect for keeping on the teachers’ desks at school – not taking up too much valuable desk room. I left the 2 small pockets empty because 1) I didn’t have time to make the little cards/tags that fit and 2) thought they could put what they want in there.  I got the 1st one finished (”A”) and then had to get Henry. I stood up and was crippled. The weight on my pelvis and the muscles holding up the baby & in the back was so painful, I couldn’t walk. This has been happening more and more frequently, but usually a couple of seconds makes the pain ease up and I’m okay. But it wasn’t easing up. I thought I wouldn’t be able to get down the steps to the garage. I did, but it took too long. Walking in to get Henry was bad. It still hurt while I sat waiting to get the other 2. Searing pain in my low back and abdomen. Got home and had to carry Henry in, since the child won’t keep his shoes on and I don’t want him walking barefoot through the dirty garage. Sat back down and made the 2nd teacher gift. Then I tried to get up and couldn’t. It took me 4 tries to get vertical and I realized that I couldn’t get the kids to the spring program by myself. I had to go – they had to go, so I had to make sure Steve could get us there. So I laid down and called the doctor. Oh, that was upon my mom’s insistence. She was afraid that maybe I’d be going into early labor. Thankfully, the doctor said it was very likely it was just that, because I’m old (THAT again!!) and this is baby #4, my muscles are stretched out and tired and I’m just having trouble holding the baby up with them. Plus, I’m getting to the point now where bones are starting to shift and move, so everything just HURTS. I’m glad that’s all it is, but I don’t know how much more I can take of this. I’ve got 10 weeks left and everyday the pain gets a little worse. It’s so hard to function now – I can’t bend over at all, standing & walking are very difficult, standing after sitting is excruciating. I can’t spend the next 10 weeks in bed, so this has to stop.

Okay – I’m going to share the layouts and then shut ‘er down. Kids are in bed & Mommy’s tired. As always, click to read.

I have a lot to talk about & share, but I’m just too wiped tonight. I’ve had a lot of trouble today with muscle pain and an inability to walk due to pain & pressure, so I really need to go to bed.

Coming soon: annoyance with online debates, spring program, Henry’s lost tooth, new layouts, teacher gifts and pregnancy pain.

Ooh, “a & z”! How very profound I am.

NOT.

Okay. I didn’t talk about my thoughts regarding the AI finale. I’ve been watching pretty regularly, and will say that I was pleased with the final result. I thought both guys were really good, but I preferred Kris’ style. Don’t get me wrong – Adam is WICKED talented, but I think that his style is better suited to something more theatrical, like Broadway, and that after a bit his screeching made me tired. However, none of that analysis has anything to do with what I thought of the finale.

One thing I liked the best about this season was that for once, it seemed, the song choices were moving away from the generic pop/soft rock/blah-di-dee-blah stuff that has usually been done. To have a season where the contestants are doing Zeppelin, Queen, Aerosmith (OLD Aerosmith, KARA), KISS – it was totally refreshing.

While the finale was, to me, one big “Wait………WHAT???”  moment after another – every time I though it couldn’t get any weirder, someone more random and crazy would join in – it still was a breath of AWESOME to see these old school rock acts gettin’ some play. I could have done without Lionel Richie, but KISS, Queen, Santana, Rod Stewart (who was charged with uncryogenically freezing him??)? That made me so very, very happy. Bands that I totally dig from back in the day rather than today’s milquetoasty bands that are “meh” at best. Way to bring back the R.O.C.K., AI.

What didn’t I like? Randy’s Orville Redenbacher/vaudeville/grandmother’s attic ensemble.

Having to even look at that stupid, talentless bikini girl again. So sick of people thinking that pretty=talented. Dear Bimbo, Kara schooled you. Go home.

Gokey singing “Hello”. That song was lame back when it was my high school boyfriend & my “song”. Never sing that song again.

Megan. Doing anything. Ever. Poor Steve Martin. Even someone as talented and funny as he is couldn’t help but look like he had a mouthful of poo through the whole thing. Who thought a banjo number belonged there? Just….dumb.

Latifah. Girl, you are a big, big star. I don’t care what your stylist says. By now, you just oughta KNOW better than to venture out on stage wearing what amounted to a spandex catsuit. It isn’t flattering. At all. We big girls gotta KNOW that.

Adam??? Sparkly shoulder cage wingy things? Really? Were you afraid that your shoulders might attempt a daring escape? They were weird.

Kris and Adam? DON’T TOUCH THE ROCK STARS. You’re performing the iconic song “We Are the Champions” with the iconic lead guitarist of Queen, Brian Mays. STOP TOUCHING HIM. He doesn’t know you. It’s creepy.

And, finally, don’t ever, ever, ever let Kara write a song again. That was the lamest piece of tripe I’ve ever heard. Poor Adam & Kris having to sing that piece of garbage. I hate it. They hated it. Simon hated it. Even Kara almost apologized for it. I can’t believe they couldn’t have gotten a really good songwriter to write them something. Even Kelly’s “A Moment Like This” was better than that.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Today we actually WENT somewhere and DID something! Steve suggested we go to the zoo, so off we went. Every year, they have a cool exhibit that hangs around all summer. This year, it’s dinosaurs! Huge, near life-sized slightly animatronic dinos everywhere!

They set up a great Jurassic Park-style exhibit with funny signs spread around the paths:

Love the little sign-people used like this. We then stopped into the children’s zoo area because Henry had to see cows. He wanted to have a mixer with the cows, but couldn’t get close enough. Instead, we visited the goats. He DUG them, y’all.

We looked at the hot, hot bears and I got drinks and sat for a bit while Daddy & Steven visited the Swamp. We were getting tired, as witnessed in this picture.

We visited the penguin place and then the kids decided to get DRENCHED.

I was starting to fatigue at this point, so we decided to have Steven & Daddy visit the monkey house while Maggie, Henry & I sat. I’m really starting to have trouble walking a lot and standing for a long time. My sciatica is acting up and my belly is SO HEAVY.

I enjoyed this picture that we happened upon. Looks like they might be a little late to the gathering, you think?

We even happened upon a wedding as we rested!

All in all, it was a beautiful day. Sunny and warm, kids were pretty well behaved. The only downside was that after riding home, I could barely walk. Can’t put weight on my feet without nearly dying from the pain. I had to lie down immediately and the stairs and killing me. How I’m going to manage another 10 weeks of this is beyond me. Anyway – we had a good family day. With lots of free refills on beverages, a couple soft pretzels and a little sunburn at the end.

Yeah, I’ve got more. I’ve been playing a lot with photos I have – sharpening, fixing, brightening eyes, etc.  Then, of course, I want to scrap them right away. So I am.

We’re counting down to the end of school. Maggie & Steven have 6 more days and Henry’s done on the 10th of June. Today was a special day for Maggie’s class where they got to go to a local forest preserve for lunch, hanging out and having a last blowout as a class. Plus, dogs were invited! So I took Nika, picked up a sandwich and headed out at lunchtime. The kids had just finished a water fight, so everyone was drenched. Nika started freaking out at the other dogs – whining, straining and very, very excited – so I sat at a table to eat my sandwich and give her a chance to calm down. When I was done, we moved over where the other moms and dogs were – I let Nika slowly acclimate to the other dogs and all seemed okay. She didn’t LOVE having the other dogs and really disliked it when they sniffed her, but there were no showdowns.

Until one mom passed out dog treats to everyone. Nika has been trained that she’s not allowed to eat anything until she’s been given the go-ahead. So, she’ll sniff it and look at me until I tell her to go. Which I always do right away. Then she gets delicate with it – licking it and gently biting. So, she’s starting to get into it when another dog (a big Golden) decides to take it from her. Nika do NOT play dat. Before I could blink, a dogfight is happening. Seriously – Nika ATTACKED this dog and they’re going at it fiercely. So I jumped up and pulled her off the other dog, then forced her into a submissive position on her back until she submitted to me. She was MAD AS THE BLAZES. When it calmed down, I made her lie down at my feet facing away from the other dogs and put my leg over her to keep her in place. Her neck was all wet from the other dog attacking her there – no blood or anything, so that’s good. Poor thing is too old to be doing the dogfight thing. I was embarrassed, though. Meeting some of the moms for the first time and my dog attacks another dog. Priceless.

Okay – new layouts:

Have a happy Thursday, okay?

Let’s see..what’s new? Henry has strep AGAIN. This poor kid has been antibiotic’d up the wazoo and we just cannot get him well. He had 2 courses of Amoxicillin back in April and then got sick again. Doctor decided to up the ante and gave him Augmentin. Cue allergic reaction. He finished that last Sunday. Yesterday he wakes up sick again. So, back to the doctor this morning. He tested positive for strep, so he’s on Zythromycin now plus a cream for the rash on his face (doctor thought strep skin infection from him rubbing his snot into his face, ew) and Zyrtec for possible seasonal allergies. He’s starting to make Keith Richards look like Pat Boone.

Hopefully he’ll kick this soon. It’s going to be a miserable summer if this doesn’t stop. Plus, I’m tired of him wiping his snot all over my shirt.

I’ve decided I’m going to get some maternity pictures taken. I’ve been vacillating about it because, hey, I’m huge and who wants to see that. But I’ve thought that since this is my last chance to document my pregnancies, I’m going to go for it. I don’t expect any miracles in terms of making me look amazing, but it’ll be worth it just for remembrance’s sake. I’m going to bring the kids and hubby along, too. Might as well make it a family thing, right? I found a photographer in a nearby town whose website photos looked great to me and I can afford it, so I’m going for it. I’m very nervous and excited.

I also can’t seem to stop scrapping. My designing mojo is nonexistant right now, but I’m having lots of fun scrapping. Wanna see? As always, click on the pictures to see journaling & credits.

Whaddaya think?

Another month, another ultrasound. I’m 28 weeks along now and little William is growing really well! Can you see his little face? His forehead is on the right and his chin on the left. He’s looking right at you with his chubby, chubby cheeks!

It’s so nice to go in and see how he’s growing every month. Hearing that everything looks really good – spine, heart, blood flow, kidneys, femur length, head measurements – the whole 9 yards. Plus, he’s a good size and right on track. Apparently, he’s about 3# right now, but I’m not sure how long he is.

Though, let me tell you, this kid is crazy busy. He is moving SO MUCH – especially when I’m trying to fall asleep. I think he’s gearing up to battle Robert Muraine for best popper in the world. You know…THIS guy.

Seriously – that’s what it feels like is going on in there. This child is CRA. ZEE.  Add the way he plays on my ribs as if he’s the xylophone player on an episode of The Flinstones and dude is making me uncomfortable.

I had the WEIRDEST dream last night. We were living in a society where zombies had “come out” – like on True Blood/Sookie Stackhouse books. They didn’t have to have brains because someone had invented a substitute – so they could live among us. Though sometimes they’d still attack a human, so you had to be careful. So, I’m at my mom’s old house where she tells me she has something to show me. She has me do some weird kind of knocking pattern on the kitchen table and nothing happened. Then, suddenly, through the kitchen door, I see a zombie shuffling up the stairs from the basement. I freak and my mom tells me it’s all okay – they won’t hurt us. One was a woman who was kind of like a witch zombie or queen zombie or something – looked a lot like Serafina Pekkala from The Golden Compass movie. But, y’know, a zombie. The other one looked like my grandpa.

Basically, they just shuffled around, not eating us. Then, suddenly, there was Stephen Fry. He was also a zombie – but not like any zombie you’d see in the movies. He was still totally erudite and witty and charming and brilliant even though he was a zombie. I cannot remember what it was that was the “brains substitute”, but every now and then, one of them would just go “huuuuuuuuungry”, so it was like they weren’t getting quite enough to eat. Which made me uncomfortable.

Should I call the psych ward now or later??

Yeah, I know you know. I’m sure every single blog you’ve visited today has been about Mother’s Day. And this one is, too!

Last night at bedtime (9pm), I noticed that Henry was covered with some sort of circular rash thing – mostly on his torso. None of us were sure what it was and it looked a little like measles – which, greeeeaaaat. Steve offered to take him over to the ER. And I started to panic a bit about what on EARTH we’re going to do if he has measles – since he’ll give it to Maggie & Steven and I’m pregnant. Bah.

They got to the ER and I put the kids to bed. He called about 10pm and we chatted for a bit before I learned that they hadn’t seen a doctor yet and that the ER was packed. Great. Henry was being really good, though, and they were doing lots of singing. I didn’t want to go to bed while they were still out dealing with this, so I forced myself to stay awake. Watched SNL. And L&O:SVU. Then it was 1am. And they still weren’t home. So I called. They had JUST LEFT the hospital. Holy frijoles. FOUR HOURS and the result? He’s having an allergic reaction to the Augmentin he’s been on for 8 days. They said it can build up and the allergy can develop over time, which is why it didn’t show up earlier. Thank goodness it wasn’t more serious. Doctor did say that he should finish the Augmentin while he’s on the Benadryl and Zantac, but he looks so bad, y’all! They said it’s safe for him to go to school tomorrow, but I’m totally going to have to bring the ER sheet so they don’t freak out or anything. I mean, it’s SWIMMING tomorrow – he can’t miss that!

Steve & Henry got home at 2am, so we slept in a bit. We were supposed to go have an early lunch at 11, but no go. I was pleasantly awakened at 8:30 by Steven bearing breakfast in bed! Cereal, grape juice and a muffin that he made at school! He was so proud of himself and it was a lovely surprise. Then I went back to sleep and was again awakened at 9:15 by breakfast in bed made by Maggie! A bacon, egg & cheese sandwich, grape juice and a piece of lemon loaf. So good and nice of them – I was SO FULL, so lunch was totally off. Both of them gave me their gifts, too – check out how cool!

Maggie made this at school. It’s a bowl – she added a little nest at the top with 3 eggs in it! And it says “Hi!” on the bottom. How sweet is that? Plus, I got 2 beautiful hydrangeas at Meijer that I loooove.

Aren’t they gorgeous? I’m way into hydrangeas right now, so these are perfect. I took a 3 hour nap this afternoon and then we went over and had pizza with my parents. My mom hadn’t seen the kids in over a week and she was in withdrawals. We didn’t stay too long, but it was nice to all get together. Steven tried to teach my mom how to play this Nintendo DS game my brother got her for Mother’s Day, but neither of them could really do it. It’s full of these lateral-thinking puzzles that you have to solve to advance and, other than my husband, none of us are any good at that. Got a good picture, though…

It was a pretty good day. I pray that Henry’s rash calms down some before tomorrow. It looks miserable and I don’t want to deal with all the crud that goes with a kid that seems sick.

Stupid glucose. I got a call this afternoon that I failed my 1 hour glucose test that I took on Wednesday. Which means I have to go 1st thing tomorrow morning and take the 3 hour test. CRAP. What a waste of my day. Apparently, I only failed by a few points, but I still have to do it. I hate this.

Okay – pictures of the gardening I did.  Here are the tulips I planted last fall. Behind them is one of the hydrangeas and the phlox all around.

The daffodils I also planted last fall. Plus the gallardia, Russian sage and Shasta daisies all the way over on the left.

This is Maggie’s spot. She calls it “the Rock”. Here are the bleeding  hearts & violets.

Yeah, none of it’s perfect, but at least it’s IN. I can worry about the rest later. And man does it look better than when we moved in!

Okay. Gotta go to bed and look forward to not eating till noon tomorrow. Bah.

Sorry I haven’t posted since my “day of fail” post on Friday. I’ve been trying to do more than I am capable and it ends up with me being completely unable to function come evening. It’s quite sad, actually, that such simple tasks are shutting me down, but I suppose that’s to be expected when you’re 40 and 27 weeks pregnant.

I started doing a little gardening last week with my mom – just wanted to get the thistles out of the small garden area and plant a couple of things. Side note – what is it with thistles?? Where do they come from and how do they spread so quickly?? I have yet to have a garden are that hasn’t become completely overrun with them – they drive me insane. They are the evillest weeds God ever invented. So, anyway. We hoed the weeds away and planted 2 hydrangeas, 2 peonies and 3 Russian sage. That was nice, but of course I couldn’t leave it there.

My mom had knee replacement surgery on Friday, so she’s been recouperating since then. On Saturday I got 2 bleeding hearts, 3 Gallardia, 2 Clematis, a butterfly bush, 3 Shasta Daisies, 7 violets and 5 phlox. I did the bleeding hearts, Gallardia, Clematis, & daisies on Saturday afternoon, which killed my back. My sciatica is starting to kick in – a little early, but nothing I can do. When it hit on Saturday, I wasn’t even able to walk. Yesterday, Steven and I did the phlox. For some reason, that was all I could do. Oh, plus adding some mulch. Steven helped, but it was too much again. I didn’t want to do anymore. I still had the violets and they really needed to get in the ground as they were starting to die. Maggie begged me to do them today as they were going over by her special place with the bleeding hearts. So…I made them help me. Taught Maggie how to hoe and she took care of the weeds in that area. I had Steven dig the holes (with a little help from me & Maggie) and I was able to get them in the ground without much pain. And mulched. Right before it rained. I’ll get some pictures and show you.

On Saturday, it was also {inter}National Scrapbook Day. I actually got 2 layouts done, plus another 2 this week. I hosted a chat Saturday night about journaling that went well, too. Submitted a layout for the Scrapper’s Choice Awards at DST. Lots of scrapping related stuff. Here, I’ll share my layouts.

Click on any picture to read the journaling – which is the best part of any of my layouts. Now I must rest my stupid, stupid back.

This is how I feel I went through today. Everything I touched, tried or attempted was a fail. It might as well have been stamped on my forehead. Partially due to my pregnancy brain and partially because I’m a klutzy heifer sometimes, I just couldn’t make it through the day without little “fails” following in my wake.

Started with Henry waking up sick…AGAIN. This kid just can’t seem to shake this thing. Woke up with the crusty boogs stuck under his nose again and a little fever. I knew I wasn’t going to have a choice but to take him back to the doctor. I wanted to make a Target run first, though, so I did that. Had to get Steven a new lunchbox, plus I picked up a bunch of other stuff like baby food, deodorant, etc. And found freshly made chicken kievs for dinner which made me very happy. Had to keep wiping Henry’s nose and then he let out one of those SNEEZES that just blew like a tablespoon of green snot all over his face, his pacifier and my shirt. Mark down another day on my calendar where I couldn’t keep my shirt clean for more than an hour. :sigh: Then we got in the checkout line and Henry proceeds to knock a jar of baby food off the belt (because God forbid anything should lie unmolested on any surface without being knocked off or thrown) where it proceeded to shatter. So, a guy had to come and clean it up – trying not to cut himself or get covered in pureed chicken goop. He missed 2 shards of glass that my Mommy eyes caught, so that was good. But, sheesh.

We ran to Barnes & Noble where Henry wants to pull every single book off the shelf. I have to keep him totally in the center of each aisle so he can’t reach them, but he’s able to reach the ones on the wood tables as we walk by. And he dumps nearly an entire table with a swish as the stroller passes. Yay.

Picked up what I wanted for lunch and headed home. Got Henry set up to eat and fed 2 bites before the jar of chicken slipped from my fingers, hit my lap, rolled down my legs and, yes, shattered on the floor. Two for two, y’all. And I couldn’t even blame Henry this time.

Took our naptime and then went to pick up Maggie & Steven. Doctor’s appointment at 3:15, so just enough time to go get gas and get there on time. As I pulled into the gas station I always use, I see that it’s full of a bunch of people who aren’t paying any attention to anyone else. One chick pulls up to a pump, completely ignoring the fact that there’s an empty pump a little further up and that NO ONE can pull around her to get to it. So one pump is out of commission. A truck pulled in ahead of me, but made moves like they were going to just pull out & leave. Instead, they stop and throw it in reverse to back into their chosen pump space. Which meant I had to back up so they didn’t plow into me. I’m trying not to run over the people leaving the station to return to their cars. Dudes back their truck in and then a guy on a motorcycle on the 2nd pump in the row I’m going towards decides to just scootch over to chit-chat with the guys in the truck. So, I’m trying to cut around the corner to the pump really tight so as not to hit the jackalope opening his truck door into my path or the dude on the cycle. In doing so, I proceed to hit the big plastic thing that hangs on the post and holds the windshield cleaner stuff, pulling it clean off the post. And I proceed to swear. Because now I am MAD. In my attempt to get around a bunch of testosterone-poisoned jerks who obviously don’t care about anybody else, I’ve now damaged something. Plus, because I’m klutzy. The racket this thing makes as it clatters to the ground is epic and I’m FURIOUS. I get out and go to pick the thing up to see if I can reattach it. Unfortunately, it’s heavy and I’m pregnant. I got it out of the  middle of the road and realized I couldn’t reattach it, so I set it up against the pole, put the squeegee back in it and went to start the pump. I’m so angry that I’m just standing there biting the inside of my mouth, trying to calm down, arms folded across my chest. Because I know if I talk to anyone right now, I’m going to do something I shouldn’t do. Then the attendent comes out and proceeds to berate and humiliate me in front of everyone.

“Were you going to come in and tell me you did this??  Or apologize??”

I looked at him increduously and bit the inside of my mouth because I knew that everything that wants to come out of my mouth at that moment was profane.

“I guess that’s a ‘no’, then, huh?’ he says all pissedly.

“No…I *am* sorry,” I said. “I certainly didn’t mean to do that. But if the station was filled with a bunch of selfish, egotistical assholes, this wouldn’t have happened.” Yeah. I know it was wrong. Not the right response. It’s TRUE, but it wasn’t right to say.

“Oh, nice.” he responds. “Blame it on everybody else. That’s rather childish.”

” I don’t think so!” I shout at his back as he retreats back into the station.

Now, I KNOW I was in the wrong. I know that, regardless of what everyone else was doing, I did hit the thing and I should have gone in there and said something – but I wasn’t even done pumping my gas yet. However, I know myself and I know that I was so angry that I needed the few minutes of pumping the gas to calm down, stopped being pissed at myself and everyone there. Once I’d done that, I would have been able to see the right way to handle it. I also thought for sure the attendant saw and heard what happened, so I wasn’t sure I needed to go in and confess. I mean, there’s a huge pregnant woman wrestling with the windshield cleaner – it’s a small attendant building – he couldn’t have missed it. Still, I think I probably would have worked it out and handled it properly after a few minutes. But when he came out and humiliated me in front of everyone?? I couldn’t even see straight. I finished pumping my gas, slammed the nozzle back into the pump and angrily pulled away. Steven asks, “Mom….are you angry?” and I couldn’t hold it back. I started SCREAMING about how furious I was and how everyone there was a jerk (actually, I swore – THAT’S how angry I was. I never swear in front of the kids) and how men all SUCK – and then I lost it and started crying. I was embarrassed and humiliated and angry and felt stupid. Plus, I knew that I hadn’t handled it the best way, so I was disappointed in myself. And once I started crying, I couldn’t get a hold of myself. So I had to take the kids into the doctor’s office with tears running down my face, bright red nose and swollen top lip.

Had to restrain Henry at the doctor so he could look in nose, ears, etc. Henry hates anybody touching him like that, so he freaks and I have to hold both arms with one hand, his head with the other and wrap my legs around his legs, or he’ll kick the crap out of you. Another huge expenditure of energy, wearing me down even further. Doctor prescribes an antibiotic and probiotic and faxes them over to our pharmacy.

Twenty minutes later, I’ve started losing it again as I pull into Walgreen’s to get Henry’s and my prescriptions. “We don’t have anything for Henry,” they say.

“The doctor faxed it over twenty minutes ago. I sat and watched him do it.”

“Sorry. Nothing.” he says.

And I start crying again. Because I do not want to waste any more time driving around waiting for it to be done. You know how I know I’m losing it? When Maggie tells me, “Calm down, Mom…just calm down.” Good LORD.

We went straight home and I finally got a hold of Steve where I asked him to pick up the prescriptions and come. right. home. And, of course, I started crying again. Because I knew I had to tell him what happened, but I’m also worried that he’s going to tell me I was wrong and messed up badly. Thankfully, I was wrong. I told him everything and he said I did nothing wrong. I hadn’t pulled away, I hadn’t even finished pumping my gas yet, so for him to berate me in front of everyone was wrong. And he wanted to know what the guy looked like. Which means he’s going to be looking for him, because nothing upsets him more than somebody making me cry. But, whatever. I told him not to do anything because I was culpable.

I hate days like this. I hate feeling like a big, walking fail sign. Usually I can keep that kind of crap buried pretty deep, but then a day like this happens and I hate being me as much as I hate sharing the world with other people. It doesn’t help that I’m totally exhausted & my pregnancy sciatica has already begun. So standing and walking is becoming increasingly difficult. Just getting through the day is an exercise in exhaustion and stuff like this wears me down to a raw, nerve-exposed nub.

Tomorrow will be better. Right?