No, I haven’t really overcome my digital designing slump. I did do my contribution to the July customer appreciation kit at NDISB and 1/2 of one piece of my July gift bag for Sophia’s. It’s a start, right?
What I have accomplished was some cleaning. We brought my happy slappy Hoover SteamVac back to the house so I could clean the carpets. Got the family room, living room and bedroom done. It was g*r*o*s*s, y’all. I’m always amazed by how dirty that water ends up. Plus, add in the dog hair and it’s just made of ew. But, the carpets look better, so rock on.
Then I organized the boys’ drawers - since I couldn’t find any of what I needed in them. Their drawers are HUGE and stuff gets way lost. Cleared out the stuff that doesn’t fit, is all beat up & organized by season. I even put little labels on the drawers. Cuz I’m OCD like that.
Here’s my rant for today. I am totally DONE with seeing commercials for Valtrex and Levitra. I TOTALLY do NOT want to know ANYTHING about your genital herpes. Making us watch about it on TV is just way more information than I want to know. I don’t want to know which of you has genital herpes and which one doesn’t. Please, I beg of you, stop talking about it. And Levitra guys? I also don’t want to know about your erectile dysfunction. AT ALL. I totally do not want to hear about it, see about it, think about it or even know it exists. Since these commercials seem to appear during EVERY. SINGLE. COMMERCIAL BREAK, I cannot escape them. So just stop. Please. Keep what’s in your pants in your pants. Totally need to know basis, y’know?
Steven (lying next to me and absentmindedly rubbing my belly): Are you having another baby, Mom?
Me: Oh, no. No baby. My belly’s just fat.
Steven: You’re not fat. It’s just your….cartilage.
Me: My ….. cartilage??
Steven: Yeah. Your cartilage. It’s poofy.
I mean, seriously. How can you beat THAT? It’s these moments that keep me from putting my head in the oven sane. Well….sanER anyway.
Let’s see, what else. I read through what’s available of Stephenie Meyer’sTwilight series on Monday & Tuesday. I know it’s only young adult fiction, but I was appalled. I had read some online people who said this was truly atrocious and I was sure they were totally overreacting, because it couldn’t be THAT BAD. I am filled with shame for my naivete. For those of you who don’t know, it’s the story of Bella & Edward. They meet when Bella moves to WAshington to live with her father during her junior year in high school. Edward is actually a 108 year old vampire who can’t seem to find anything better to do than repeat high school over and over and over again. Oh, and Edward has a “family” of other vampires - 4 of whom play his siblings and 2 of whom play his parents. So there are 5 of them hanging out at the high school (which….WHAT? How many times can you take Biology without losing your mind?) and, of course, Bella is intrigued by them from day 1. And, wouldn’t you know it, something about Bella’s stink makes her the one true only soulmate for Edward - who can’t decide whether to marry her or eat her. At first, she thinks he hates her because he’s all angry-faced and won’t even look at her (which is only because the smell of her is beyond his ability to control his urges), but, of course, they fall truly, madly, deeply in love and have to figure out how to work her into his vampire family - she wants to become one and he doesn’t want her to. Within this not-too-bad story, there is some of the most annoying writing I’ve ever read. You see - the these vampires can’t go out in the sun, but not for the reason you think. They don’t burst into flame. They SPARKLE. Like rainbows and glitter and unicorns and prisms. Here are my thoughts:
This is the second scariest “love story” I’ve ever subjected myself to - the first being the incestuous death-romp that is the Flowers in the Attic series. The fact that people are promoting this as the BESTESTTRUELOVEEVEROMG!!!!!!! story makes me cringe, weep and crap my pants at the same time. Why, why, why do people think that insane, psychotic, abusive, controlling guys are totally the hotness???
I cannot fully describe to you the deep, loud, hysterical laughter that overtook me as I realized that EDWARDSPARKLES. But it totally makes sense! In the world of 14 year old girls, of course nothing truly bad would happen to the soopersexehvampire that is the embodiment of every teenage girl’s dreamguy. He couldn’t possibly, I don’t know, BURST INTO FLAME when the sun hits because how could they sit together in the lunchroom and walk moodily to class together if dude is on fire?
Bella keeps describing Edward’s PERFECT, BEAUTIFULNESS as “cold, marbly hardness”. Ew. Just….oh my god, ew. How do you “snuggle up” with somebody who feels like a marble bench? That isn’t sexy or romantic or anything. It’s icky.
Bella?? Cutting your brakes to keep you from visiting your BFF who’s a guy isn’t TWU WUV. It’s stalking. Coming into your room while you sleep to WATCH YOU? Isn’t romantic. It’s terrifyingly creepy. Your boyfriend isn’t supposed to order you around or tell you what you can & cannot do. The fact that your father, THE LONE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER IN TOWN, hasn’t started posting excerpts from “The Gift of Fear” on your bathroom mirror, on your steering wheel, in the refrigerator and as bookcovers for all of your school books is just ridiculous. Charlie might not be the most effusive parent, but he’s not BLIND. Only an idiot would miss all the signs of Edward’s scary behavior.
The whining was more than I could handle. As the mother of a preteen, I have to listen to much of that every day and reading it was enough to put a gun to my head. Poor, poor Bella. Every guy at the high school wants to be the new girl’s boyfriend. They’re all falling over each other to walk you to class and take you to the dance and hit you with their car. How sad it must be for you. And, of course, you poor thing, you are just so adorably clumsy that you can’t even dance or even walk across the room without cracking your sternum, so you couldn’t think of anything more horrible than having to attend a DANCE with someone. Stupid, idiotic human boys. Because, goodness knows, you couldn’t possibly ATTEND the dance and have FUN with people you LIKE without having to do a lot of dancing. Shall I punch you in the larynx NOW or wait till that whiny noise comes out of your pie-hole again?
Jacob is Bella’s BFF who, surprise surprise, is also in love with Bella. But, in Bella’s world, Edward is as essential as oxygen and she cannot exist without him. (Great lesson, Stephenie) Dude. You’re a 6′7″ hot Native American WEREWOLF. You can do 2578465847% better than Bella. Why on earth would you torture yourself with that little moron? Here’s a suggestion - GET OUT MORE. Use your sooperspeshul wolfie powers to go to Seattle or Portland or Alaska and MEET SOME REAL WOMEN. Stop stalking the insane vamphag.
Rosalie? You’re mind-boogleingly beautiful. Like, our puny human minds cannot wrap around it. I get it. Now GET OVER YOURSELF. As I read your little expositional story to Bella, in which I’m supposed to feel all sorry for you for being all sparkly against your will, I felt nothing but all punchy. Poor Rose. She’s never been taken seriously cuz she’s so purty. And she’s not at all above reminding us how purty she is.If only she could have been plain & ugly like her friend and have babies. And she cannot believe that Edward would pass on her and choose ordinary old Bella.
I almost can’t wait till my daughter’s old enough to read this crap. So I can totally point out the flaws, get completely snarktastic about it and pound into her head that THIS IS NOT TWU WUV - IT’S OBSESSIVE INSANITY. No wonder so many teenage girls get involved in abusive relationships - they’re taught that obsessive, stalker behavior means that he really, really loves you. NO IT DOESN’T. Buy The Gift of Fear. READ IT. Live it.
I gotta get some more good books to read. My library doesn’t have enough books by Jodi Picoult, so even though I want to read more of those, I can’t right now. I love reading book series, so I gotta find some more of those.
I’ll leave you with this - Henry learned a new phrase and it’s so incredibly cute.
Y’know…the ones you hate. The ones who let their yard go to the dogs. The ones who don’t clean their gutters. The ones who have a backyard that dogs could hide in. I’m SO ashamed. We went back to our old house today to do stage one of getting all the rest of our crap cleaned out of there. I hadn’t been there in months - in fact, the last time I was there, there was about 8 inches of snow. Our driveway and front walk are overgrown with weeds. The side & back yard have grass & weeds that are, literally, 3-4 FEET tall. I totally want to show up there in the dead of night to finish up so I don’t have to worry about anybody seeing me. We only got through 3 rooms - completely emptying them. Most of it is garbage. Spiders everywhere. I feel all dirty and gross now. We still have the kitchen, laundry room, living room, walk-in closet, playroom and garage to do. The garage itself is going to take at least a day & we’re going to need to get a dumpster to just throw about 2/3 of it away. But first, we’ve got to get somebody over there to mow and clean up the yard. I publicly apologize to our old neighbors. We totally messed up and I wish I could go back & do it right.
I have SO MUCH scrapbook designing work to do. I don’t know why, but I have ZERO motivation to do it. I got halfway done with a kit and I just have no desire to design. I have no idea why this is - I can’t think of anything specific that happened, but everytime I think about doing it, I just have a big old sigh. I hope I get motivated soon - I can’t design when I’m unmotivated, but I’ve got a kit to finish, July’s grab bag to do and a collab kit for July to do.
I discovered SimCity 4 and THAT was a mistake. Now I’m just building ridiculous cities and then getting FURIOUS when the game crashes & I forgot to save. Okay - my brain literally just shut down. I can’t think of anything else, so that’s that. Tomorrow we get to set off a bug bomb in the garage to kill any bugs/eggs in the stuff we brought back so we can bring it in the house. Gotta find something we can do with the dog for a couple hours while the bomb works. Should be a blast. Yee-haw.
Crystal wrote me a comment on my last post that says:
Hey! Could it be that….gee,you’re finally growing a conscience? You’re ramblings are full of griping & complaining which I haven’t seen in the other blogs, including the Christian blogs. WWJD? Surely He wouldn’t do this? Do you think before you blog? Didn’t think so. Writing in you’re diary is a lot less damaging to others. Your blog has consistenly been less than uplifting & definately not a good example to others. I shudder to think what your family thinks of the things you’ve said about them all through the time you’ve been blogging. Bloggers need to be very careful what they put in it. Would you say all of these terrible things to everyone’s face if you were in front of them? If the answer is “yes”, then you really need to stop blogging & go to therapy or do something else to get your anger out, so you don’t hurt others. You have a lot of anger in your blogs not to mention disrespect. Have you heard of poise, grace, manners? Didn’t you learn these things in life yet? I know others are afraid to say these things….but someone needs to say them. This blog could be so much better if you filled it with love, mercy, grace, respect, patience, kindness…what ever happended to those qualities? I hope you think about this long & hard. Deep down that’s probably what’s behind the desire to not blog for a while & the funk you’ve been in. Deep down you realize this.
Since Crystal decided to write from an email that is fake, I have no choice but to respond here. So, here’s what I tried to email to you, but was returned:
Wow, Crystal. It must really be difficult to have to sit with a gun to your head reading blogs that make you so unhappy. What does my family think?? They LOVE my blog. My husband reads it everyday and tells me he loves it. My daughter has read through nearly every entry. Her thoughts? Laughter. My sons don’t read it because they don’t read blogs, being 7 and 4. Don’t assume to tell me what my family thinks of what’s in my brain.
Oh. And what would Jesus do?? Love me. Through my whining and my complaining and my imperfections, He loves me. And works me through them. Have a nice day.
Sorry. I know it’s been too long since my last blog. But there’s a reason.
See, I realized that my last 2 entries had been filled with whining & complaining. Moaning & ranting about stuff and, considering my mood over the last week, I knew that any blog entry I wrote would be more of the same. And I didn’t want to do that. As kind as y’all are, I knew that much more of my belly-aching might turn enough of you off that you might not return. So, I just shut my mouth.
It’s been a week filled with no motivation. No feeling of productivity or inspiration or wanting to do anything more intensive than playing Zoo Tycoon. I haven’t been designing or scrapping or writing or anything more than playing stupid computer games. I’m not really sure why I’m feeling this way. I’m good on my meds and don’t really have anything to be depressed about - yet I’m unmotivated. Hopefully it’ll pass soon. I have started on a new kit, but I work on it for about an hour & then I’m bored.
I did get to take Maggie to see Prince Caspian last night. That? Was a really good movie. It wasn’t quite as good as The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe, but I still enjoyed it a lot. Kind of weird to see Lucy grown so much - she’s really moving from “cute” to “pretty”. My other thoughts?
- By far, my favorite person in the movie was “Trumpkin”. Played by Peter Dinklage, this character was so incredibly real, I was floored. A lot of times, someone who’s not a “typical” actor will get a lot of “wow, that was great….for a little person (or someone with Down Syndrome or a singer or a model or whatever)”. Not so in this case. This performance was SIMPLY GREAT. I don’t care if it’s compared to Daniel Day Lewis - totally right up there. He did an amazing job conveying his annoyance and peevishness and disbelief and trying to hide soft feelings. He delivered lines filled with sarcasm beautifully. My favorite part was when he finally met Aslan. You could see every single emotion cross his face. Truly amazing.
- Peter’s a weenie. I understand WHY Peter was acting the way he did, but he was just an arrogant jerk. I never read Prince Caspian, so I’m not sure about whether the actors cast were the proper age (as in the book), but that Caspian would allow Peter to speak to him so snottily without just smacking him upside the head was a bit unreal to me. Plus, seriously, would Peter REALLY even entertain the thought of releasing the White Witch? Please. I don’t see it. He saw what damage and how psycho she was - he wouldn’t have forgotten that.
- To the voice casting directors? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for casting Eddie Izzard as Reepicheep. I went in looking forward to his performance and, while I was hoping for some more laughs, it was great.
- Yours truly actually burst out laughing inappropriately. Big, emotional scene with Caspian and Miraz. Somebody might actually die. Someone’s being held at swordpoint. Caspian says, in his Spanish accent, “You killed my father…” and, since all I could hear was, “My name is Inigo Montoya…you killed my father….prepare to die.” I laughed. Loudly. Inappropriately. The 2 twelve-year old girls in front of me actually turned around to look at me. Sorry, y’all. Couldn’t help it. It was an unintentional Princess Bride shout-out and I laughed.
- Skandar Keynes (Edmund) is turning into a handsome young man. The scene where he’s meeting with Miraz and is all, “It’s KING Edmund, actually…” was awesome. Apparently, the boy can bring the snark.
- That last battle scene was wicked awesome. How cool was it for them to race underground, knocking out the pillars so the GROUND OPENS UP?? That was so incredibly cool. What a well-designed bunker. Of course, once you used it, you have to find another hideout, but still.
All in all, a really good movie. Darker and more violent than the first - less full of wonder. Everything felt like a big, soul-cleansing sigh when Aslan showed up. Something about him is so comforting.
Today, we went to the zoo. Boy, it’s a LOT further away than it used to be. Took nearly 2 hours to get there. But it was a nice trip. We saw the butterfly exhibit because Henry really like butterflies. We had his glasses, so he could actually see them. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. Then, Steven wanted to see the stingray exhibit, so we did that. And he get upset because “IDIDN’TGETTOTOUCHTHESHARK!!!!” Sorry, big guy. The shark didn’t follow my instructions on where to SWIM. Then, stopped in at the Children’s Zoo part - petting zoo, farm animals, etc. And Henry saw his first real cow. Which was amazing. The look on his face when he saw it was priceless. He couldn’t talk fast enough - “cowcowcowmooocowcowcow..cowcow” he said. Then he laughed and did it again. He loved the horse and told the geese to “stop it!” as they honked us deaf. We went in the petting part and Henry got THISCLOSE to an old goat. The goats there were so complacent - just lying there letting all these kids pet and brush them. He talked to the goat and touched its nose and made barking noises at it. The domestic pig had babies at the end of May and there were 14 little piglets running around which were THE CUTEST THINGS I’D EVER SEEN. If I could have (and was assured it wouldn’t turn into a big pig), I would have slipped one into my purse and taken it home. So. Incredibly. Cute.
Looked at the bears and the monkeys and the pachyderms. Saw a video of a rhino giving birth - which…OW. Elephants eating branches. Rhinos eating branches. Steven whining about not getting a pretzel. Poor Maggie didn’t get to see anything she liked. She wanted to go on the carousel (which would have cost an additional $3/person, so we skipped it) and see the lions (we missed them today). She was trying so hard not to whine or complain. Plus, her feet hurt, so she was quietly crying by the end. I promised her that she’d get to choose where we went first next time. She was okay. It was a pretty good day. Sunny - finally - not too hot or humid. Nice, happy, family day.
Last but not least - tomorrow at Sophia’s, I have a new grab bag being released. For one day (and one day only), it’s $1. For the following week, it’s $2. Then it’ll be broken up & sold separately. But, for tomorrow only, you get FIVE mini-kits (4 papers/4 elements) themed around holidays/celebrations/events in June for $1. Seriously - you do NOT want to miss this.
Here’s some LOs my CT did with what’s inside!
There are five other designers who also have GBs over at Sophia’s - all priced like mine! Don’t miss out!!!
No, seriously. I’ve totally uncovered the secret evil plot my children have hatched to drive me loony before the end of June. See, there’s no way it’s just a coincidence that they can’t cooperate or take turns on the computer or even talk civilly to one another. They know their mom. They know that nothing makes me want to pull the flesh from my skull more quickly than bickering. The incessant “MOOO-ooooom!!!! She looked at me sideways!!!!” “MOOOOOOOM! She’s expressing a differing opinion to mine!!!!!!!!!!!!” and my personal favorite, “Moom!!! Just slap her in the mouth.” (Where that comes from, I don’t know. I’ve never slapped any of them in the mouth)
They know that after about 15 minutes of that, I’ll be so desperate for them to SHUT UP ALREADY that I’ll let them eat ice or use the scooter in the house or perform felonious assault on one another. Add to that the fact that Steven can’t seem to use a tone of voice that isn’t TOTALLYTHISALLTHETIMEOMG! So it’s totally a conspiracy. They had a meeting, planned their strategy, swore each other to secrecy and set it in motion. And I’m DOOMED. I have a headache the size of a Texas woman’s hair in the late 80s and I do believe that She-Hulk is buried just below the surface, ready to HULK SMASH.
Have you guessed yet that I’m challenging summer to an old-school, smack-down dance-off? And that the loser has to get out of town? Please. For the love of all that is holy & good, STAND DOWN. For I am mighty and my wrath is terrible, but I’m TIRED.
Oh. And Happy 45th birthday, Jason Isaacs. I hope it was really delightful for you.
Y’all? Can we talk about gas? I know, I know. Everybody & his brother is complaining about gas prices and all that and you’re thinking, “Fer cryin’ out loud - we don’t need YOUR take on it, too, Christy.” But I NEED to vent. Because I’m so peeved about it.
My irritation is two-fold. First - come ON. Who can afford to pay $4.14/gallon. I mean, other than OPRAH. Who can just fill up their car and drop $100 without it seriously affecting their family budget? The last time I was this stressed about gas, I was like 19 and not working and would just scrape change together so I could get like $3-5 worth to get by. In case you haven’t noticed - I’m NEARLY FORTY now. I should not have to take the change jar to the Coinstar machine to get enough cash to make it to pick up my kids from school. And since now putting $5 worth of gas in the car gets me approximately an extra 6 blocks in my travels - I’m PEEVED. We cannot afford this. My husband drives over an hour to work every day. It’s INSANE and I don’t know how much longer we can handle.
Second - here’s my major irritation. Getting lectured about “getting what we deserve” by these environmentalist wackos. Listen to me very, very carefully, o judgmental ones. I don’t drive an SUV. And even if I did, it would be because I needed the room for my FAMILY. I drive a 5 year old Honda Odyssey. Because I have three kids and a dog. Right now? It costs nearly $70 to fill it up. I don’t drive around anywhere I don’t need to go. My kids go to a private school where there isn’t bus service. My little guy isn’t going to ride the bus because HE CAN BARELY WALK. Plus, I don’t trust anybody else driving him anywhere, thankyouverymuch. So, I have to drive my children to school & pick them up.
Y’know, it’s all very well & good for y’all to lecture us about using public transportation and walking more and even riding our bikes to stuff. How lovely. For those of you who live in a major metropolitan area where there, I don’t know, IS PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. And how would you suggest I transport my children to the store or school or wherever on a BIKE? I suppose I could strap them to my back or maybe wrap Henry around my head like a turban…I’m sure it wouldn’t be dangerous or abusive at all. Perhaps we should all wake up at 3 am so we can start walking to school at 6 in order to be there on time? And how do you suggest I get my Henry to his therapy in Lake Zurich which is nearly an hour away? Once a week? Or his other therapy which is 20 minutes away? Once a week? I suppose I should feel guilty about having to take him to that because his ability to EAT and DRESS HIMSELF isn’t as important as my carbon footprint.
Seriously - I don’t know what we’re supposed to do. Now that the price of gas is over $4/gallon, it ain’t goin’ back. Since they see that we’re taking it (well…as best we can, anyway), they’re not going back to $2. But, at this rate, I’m going to have to cancel my son’s therapies and homeschool all 3 because I cannot afford to transport them where they need to be. Thankfully, Steve’s got a job for next year that’s only 20 minutes away rather than over an hour, but still.
I tell ya, though. If one more person lectures me about my carbon footprint or how I need to be more “green” in my life, I’m going to take a hostage. I recycle, I use CFLs, I don’t go anywhere I don’t need to go, I turn off lights as I go. I’m THISCLOSE to telling somebody to bite me. For real.
